I Never Knew
by Galexz
Summary: Riley Hawke never knew she could live for anyone but her family. Fenris never knew he could live for anything but his hatred. Together they will find a new path. This is a series of one shots with no set timeline. F!Hawke/Fenris. *Chapter 7*
1. Take Your Time

So here's a new story from my diabolical mind. Lovely isn't it?

This is a series of one-shots. Some of the stories come directly from scenes in the game while others come from the moments in between. I do my best to make each scene original and interesting while using some, but not a lot of dialog from the came. We've all played it; we don't need to read it again.

I hope you enjoy my take on things.

Disclaimer: Bioware owns everything. I'm okay with that.

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><p><strong>Part 1 of ? – Take Your Time<strong>

"Command me to go and I shall."

Riley blinked. It was tempting, to _command_ him to do something. The wild wolf under her command, but if she did ever command him to do something it would _not_ be to leave – especially when he looked at her like that. Just the way he said those words made her shiver.

Riley could tell that he was straining against his restraints. How long could he last? How long could she wait for his release?

With deliberate slowness Riley stepped closer to him, her garments brushing slightly over his chest plate. One hand rose up to play with the edges of the sharp metal that protected him so often, "Command you?" She said softly, "You would never even listen to me if I tried. Tell me Fenris," Her fingers moved lower towards his hips, "If I did _command_ you, would you leave?" He looked confused and hurt. Perhaps even a bit embarrassed. Riley smirked, "Because if you did, I would be severely disappointed. You walked in here with such determination to do such..." she paused licking her lips, "delicious things."

Growling Fenris took her mouth with his; satisfied with her answer. It was a fierce and passionate as Riley had hoped. She had dreamed of this moment for ages. They had been dancing around this for months and here it was, with wild abandon. It was the first time she had allowed anything in the last seven years to be wild or abandoned and it felt good.

Not to be out down Riley responded in kind. The devourer became the devoured as Riley assaulted him. It was intoxicating, the way he felt, the way he tasted. She had been with men before. Passing flings that were good for a quick tussle in the sheets. She had desired them and then she had them. Nothing more. But Fenris had eluded her; toyed with and made her want him more with every word he spoke.

She couldn't stop her hands as they roamed over his armor. It was in the way, but that could wait. First she wanted more, no needed, to taste him more.

Riley was a take-charge kind of girl who got what she wanted it when she wanted it. Granted she did not have very many wants of her own, but with a man like Fenris, it seemed like she wanted something devilishly delicious from him every time he was in the room. His light moans fueled her desires as she pushed him against the wall and started kissing down his neck.

The salty taste coupled with the light, throaty gasp had her smiling. If he like that, then he would love this.

Ever so slowly and gently Riley started to nibble and suck at his neck. His pulse pounded under lips. She had never felt so powerful in her life.

Slowly Fenris seemed to right himself. First one hand then the other began her slow and steady march over the curves of her hips. One slid up and the other down. The feeling of the cold metal of his gauntel on her flushed skin made her shiver in a very, very good way.

Pausing in her onslaught, Riley licked the spot where she had been sucking. The momentary lapse seemed to be just the opening that Fenris had been looking for and with a deep growl he captured her mouth with his.

It was quick and short.

"I believe," He groaned out, pulling back a hair's breath, "You wanted to see my determination."

Riley moved her lips up to his ear, her hands burying themselves in his hair, "You are right." She felt him shiver and smirked. Maker's breath, he was addictive. She rolled herself off of him and whispered, "Have your way with me if you must."

Fueled by his _determination_, Fenris covered her, pressing Riley into the wall and taking both her hands in his, pinning them over her head, "With pleasure."

And pleasure it was as he allowed his other hand running it over her curves. With his lips, he ghosted kisses across her brow, in her hair, across her neck, and soon Riley was squirming, trying to capture his lips every time they passed hers. She could feel him smile every time she reached out attempting to steal a kiss. Damn him.

"Is there something wrong?" He whispered, his voice dripping with sarcasm instead of his usual distain. He loved having the upper hand, she could tell. His hand slipped under the hem of her robe, hiking it up with every inch his hand rose up her soft thigh.

"You are such a bastard sometimes." She growled out arching into him as he nipped her neck.

"Yet you still love me." It was out of his mouth before he could stop it.

Riley blinked. Had he just said what she thought he had said? His hands tightened on her wrist, the claws of his gauntlets biting into her skin. Riley winced. Yes he had said it.

She wasn't sure he had truly noticed the depth of her feelings or if they were a reflection of his own, but if she wanted this to continue she had to quell his rising insecurities this moment.

"I do." He relaxed his hold on her, the shocked registering on his face. Fenris had always been tightlipped about his past, but Riley didn't need to be a psychic to know that he had never heard a revelation like this.

It was getting too heavy. She knew she had feelings for the elf, deeper and greater than she had felt for any man, but he didn't need to know that yet. They could leave it at this for now.

Removing her hands from his loosened grip she reached out to take the hand off her thigh. She needed to get this back on it's original course - towards her bed room.

Bringing his wrist to her mouth, Riley smiled at him, her eyes hooded with desire, "I would also love to get you out of that armor."

She could see his eyes darken and his nostril's flare. It was exactly what she had hoped for and was fully prepared to take him up to her room when his eyes narrowed, filling with anger.

Quickly Fenris hulled her over towards the fire. Riley was shocked for a moment, but when he started inspecting her newly acquired wounds, her heart melted. Andraste's Grace, she really did love his man, still those words in their entirety could come later.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, gently running his metallic spiked fingers over the angry red marks.

"It's alright. You didn't mean to."

"I should have controlled myself."

Controlled him self? That was as far from her desire as it could be, "Tonight isn't about control Fenris." She said, her eyes filled with determination and desire, "If you show any, I swear I'll beat you into next week." He smiled softly at that, "But if you really want to make it up to me you can always do what my mother did."

Fenris raised an eyebrow, "Oh? And what was that?" He stepped closer to her, almost touching.

She smirked, her lips barely touching his; "She would always kiss my scrapes to make them better."

Their breath mingled, but neither of them moved, "I believe I can do that."

"I'm sure you can." Riley ran her hands down his arms, "Once we get you out of that armor."

"That might take a while."

"Don't worry," She said, smiling as she lead him upstairs, "We have all night."

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><p>Tada! That's it folks. I've already got, wow 20 more pages written, but they all need to be edited and some parts just completely scrapped. This is consuming my life right now, so expect me to (a) finish this one and (b) update fairly regularly.<p>

Please be kind and review.

-Galexz


	2. Layered 1 of 2

First off thanks to those who reviewed. I appreciate the comments so much.

So this is Part one of a two-part short story. It takes place during Act I when Hawke goes to the Foundry looking for Ninette and the other mages. It shows a different side of Riley than is portrayed in the game. There you can be nice, a bitch or funny. I usually stayed somewhere between bitch and funny, so I wanted this Hawke to walk that fine line, but I want her actions to be explained. So this is a look at why Fenris is initially interested in Hawke and background on her views concerning mages and Templars.

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Bioware owns everything - including my soul.

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><p><strong>Part 2 of ? – Layered (12)**

He felt her before he saw her.

As soon as Fenris stepped in front of the alleyway the air felt heavy. It was almost suffocating. His whole body tensed, ready to fight or flee.

She was standing there, her eyes and blade gleaming in the moonlight. There was red everywhere. The crimson flecks shinning like jewels.

He had seen Riley Hawke before covered in blood, in fact it seemed to be normal for her, but this time she felt...different.

It wasn't her lack of entourage or the fact that she was coming out of an alley in the early hours of the morning - her very presence was different. The other times that he had seen her she was lighter, cocky almost. At this moment though, there was a horrible calm about her, as if she was detached from her very soul.

Her eyes rose to meet his. They were cold, lacking any of the initial warmth he had noticed in their blue depths. The only emotion he saw there was a quick flash of guilt, followed by embarrassment and then, as soon as he saw it, there was a wall in it's place.

She didn't trust him. It was prudent. They had known each other for barely a month and had only spoken a number of times.

Riley placed her dagger back in its holster over her shoulder and leaned against the wall. It was a challenge. Would he ask about her whereabouts or leave her be?

Fenris wasn't known for prying.

He just nodded in her direction, saying nothing.

There was another flash of something - appreciation. He could see the weight on her shoulders bearing down on her, and he thought, for the first time, she looked tired as she walked away.

He didn't move until she was out of sight. Even though he wasn't the most curious person in the world, Fenris couldn't help his eyes wandering down the alley. The scene he saw there was brutal. It resembled a butcher's shop more than of a Lowtown slum.

Apparently, there was more to Riley Hawke than he had initially suspected.

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><p>It was three days until he saw the rogue again. It was during the early morning and she was with her sister.<p>

The dichotomy was dramatic.

There was that cocky smile plastered on her face. Her hip was cocked to the side, begging someone to challenge her. While her stance was more relaxed, the air of confidence she radiated dissuaded anyone from attacking her.

Most importantly, the danger and disgust that had radiated from her that night was missing.

Riley must have felt his gaze, and lifted her eyes to meet his. They narrowed slightly and her head tilted to the side. Fenris had seen that look on many people before - she was sizing him up.

She apparently made a decision, whatever it was. Riley said something to her sister and approached him. Was she going to kill him to silence him? He wouldn't have put it past the butcher he had seen that night. There was however, the guilt that had seemed to plague her.

It also seemed to plague him as well, consuming his waking thoughts.

The air changed immediately on her approach. All the confidence she had had a moment ago seemed to dissipate. Her tongue darted out to lick her lips before nibbling on them slightly. Fenris could forget the other two sides of the woman he had seen, but only for a moment. Her eyes still questioned, analyzed and her movements were still smooth and effortless as her fingers still danced close to a small dagger at her side.

"Fenris." She said simply.

"Hawke." He replied.

He could tell that she was nervous about something, but what could a woman with so much strength and brutality be scared of?

"The other night," She began before pausing. Her hand came up to run through her short black hair. Riley seemed to struggle for the right words, and Fenris did not push her.

"The other night." He conceded.

"You won't mention that to anyone will you?" She finally asked sighing.

Though he shouldn't be, Fenris was surprised by this admission. Her nighttime brutalities were unknown.

"Even your sister?"

She nodded. Interesting.

With a curt nod Fenris consented. It wasn't his place to tell anyone anyways.

"Thank you." She turned to walk away, but quickly spun again, "Oh, and would you...ah, Maker's Breath, how do I put this..."

"Use of words usually works." Fenris said. He had some pacience, but not for bumbling fools.

Riley seemed taken aback, "Right," She mumbled. Her head tilted to the side again, reanalyzing him. Again, he wondered, what conclusions was she making concerning him? "I am working a job tonight. The pay is good but I think I need some help. Would you be interested?"

"I take it this would be another job that Bethany would not agree with?"

Riley shrugged. What did that mean?

"And why do you think I would be interested?" His tone was disinterested and annoyed.

"It deals with a slaving ring."

Ah. That did catch his interest.

Fenris paused for a moment. It was a chance to take down some slavers and learn more about this woman he owed a debt to. She clearly had ever changing opinions about him. Perhaps it was time that he reconsidered his opinions of her.

"Where would you like to meet?" He finally consented.

Riley smiled. It was different from all the other smiles he had seen her give. There was no confidence, no wit, and no challenge. It was just a smile, small, genuine and thankful.

How many more layers did this woman have?

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><p>That's it for now. Layered part-2 needs to be edited some more. Please let me know what you think. I'm trying to create a different and deep Hawke here, so let me know if it's confusing or if I'm not getting my points across.<p>

Til next time.

-_Galexz_


	3. Layered 2 of 2

Alright, time for part 2!

So this is another dark chapter that deals with Hawke's past and her opinion of mages. This isn't really a rivalmance story, but more of how with their conflicting ideas on mages they can still come to and understanding. This is early on in their relationship, so it's not much romance, but the building of their mutual respect, which I feel like is very important for Fenris. Comments and critiques are always welcomed.

This is set in the Foundry district when they find Thrask's daughter.

Disclaimer: Bioware owns everything.

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><p><strong>Part 3 of ? - Layered (22)**

"Don't come near me." The mage screamed as the Templars closing in on her. The woman looked terrified. It was a look that Fenris had seen time and time again. She was close to the edge with the temptation was getting the best of her.

"No," Came the desperate whisper from next to him. Riley –the deadly woman who had been annihilating shades and abominations –looked scared, anxious and desperate. She ran forward trying to get to the girl first, but she was too late. The mage gave in, like all mages do, becoming an abomination.

The demon swelled and took down the Templars with ease before turning its focused its gaze on the rogue.

Riley had watched the butchering of the Templars silently. Her whole body had shook with what Fenris would classify as anger. Slowly Riley raised her hands and took out her daggers again. She bowed her head, and then charged. There was no hesitation in her strikes, only deadly precision.

A moment later it was done. There had been time for Fenris to aid her, but he hadn't moved. It felt like it would have been an intrusion on a personal moment.

Riley stood over the dead mage, saying nothing. Her form was cold and distant as she reached down to pick up a letter.

Turning, Riley passed Fenris the letter. It was addressed to Thrask, the man that had asked for their assistance. This had been his daughter. If she had, perhaps, been stronger like her father, she might have made it - or if she hadn't been born a mage.

"We're done here." Riley said. Her words were curt and left no room for disagreement.

She was right; they had found Ninette's severed hand and abominations. There were no more clues as to exactly what had occurred here, but whatever it was, it was over - at least, for now.

Outside, Riley breathed deep the cool night air. Fenris said nothing, waiting for her to compose herself. This wasn't the first time he had seen her rattled by blood mages and abominations. It seemed that was the only thing that got under her skin.

It had been what had turned her into the shell he had seen that first night in the Lowtown alley. Most likely, it was the reason she felt she could trust him with this side of her. They both had a hatred and disgust at mages out of control. It was something that he knew she kept from her sister - one of many things she kept from her sister.

Riley looked at him over her shoulder, "I could use a drink."

Fenris nodded. They weren't going to the Hanged Man. They couldn't covered in blood as they were. It would raise questions that he knew she was not ready to answer. Danarius' abandoned mansion was a private place they could to go collect themselves.

Since early on, it had become their headquarters, for lack of a better word. He had no real attachment to it, and was not adverse to Riley using it as her home away from home. The woman spent many nights there and even kept a spare set of clothes in one of the extra rooms.

They would return to that house many nights, battered and bruised, covered in cuts and blood. Sometimes they would talk of things –ranging in tone and content from politics to Varric's chest hair –as they cleaned their armor and weapons, and sometimes they would not. Fenris was surprised to find that both options were acceptable to him. There were clear boundaries, things that were not to be spoken of unless brought up, and both respected it. It was a comfortable relationship, something that Fenris had not experienced in a long time.

As soon as they walked in Riley deposited her things by the fire that Fenris was starting. It was always the same; Riley seemed to desperately need to be clean of the blood. While she was a skilled woman with a blade, however, she was far from comfortable killing a person. It was one of many things that Fenris respected about her.

She would go and wash up, per usual, and then search the house for more liquor. To date they had yet to go out and purchase anything. Danarius had been quite the connoisseur of wines and liquors and had left many when he had departed.

It was a while before Riley had returned, but she came back clean and with a bottle of aged brandy. The bottle itself was well over three sovereigns, but Riley didn't seem to care that it could bring her one step closer to her Deep Roads expedition, only that it could soothe the ach within her soul now. It was a pain that Fenris was acutely aware of.

Now dressed in a plain shirt and leather leggings, Riley sat by the fire clinging to the brandy. It made her look simple and defenseless, as if she were wearing her heart on her sleeve. Usually Riley was able to compose herself after cleaning up, but not tonight. Whatever killing all those abominations had done to her, it ran deep.

She didn't say anything, and Fenris would not push. He had other things to attend to. If she wanted to talk of it, then she would say so.

So Fenris slowly began to remove his armor and check for injuries. He was half undressed when he heard the words. They were soft and barely able to be heard above the sounds of his armor, but they were still there.

"My father was a killed by an abomination." Riley said simply. It was once sentence, but it was filled with years of pent up emotion. She said it like it explained everything, and maybe to her it did, but for Fenris, it answered a few questions but raised more.

Furrowing her brow and tightening her jaw Riley looked like she was going to throw the expensive liquor into the fire, but instead she drank heavily and deeply. Then she took another sip, and another.

Fenris abandoned his armor and took the bottle from her. He understood drinking to forget, but not drinking to die. She didn't protest.

"You were close with your father?" Fenris asked, breaking the silence. He had to say something. The silence had been heavy.

"Yes." She whispered turning to look at him. Her head rested on her knees and she gestured for him to sit with her. Fenris declined, choosing instead to stand by the fire.

"My father was a good man – determined, good natured and fiercely protective. Mother says if I had been born a man, I would have been an exact replica."

"Was he a mage?"

Riley nodded, "He was, and he knew better than anyone how dangerous mages were. He never trusted mages, not even himself."

"A wise man indeed." Most mages Fenris had met were extremely prideful and ignorant.

Riley held out her hand asking for the brandy again. Fenris hesitated for a moment and then handed it over to her. She drank deeply and passed it back. He could tell that talking had calmed her down a bit.

"'Their will is weak,' he would tell me, 'So yours must be stronger.' He was so worried about himself and Bethany, about what would happen if they ever succumbed."

"Why not just give himself up to the circle?"

"He had been a part of the circle here in Kirkwall. He knew how important Templars were. In fact Carver was named after one. He however hated the Circle. He felt it make mages weak and thus more prone to weakness and perversion."

"Mages are controlled in the Circle. It is meant to keep them weak."

"It is meant to keep the mages from losing control by educating and protecting them, but they are weaker because they desire for freedom. Mages long for lovers, families and only think of escape. They don't better themselves there, only become embittered. And they have ever right to. The Templars treat them like slaves. Father believed in a mage's right to live a full life, something I agree with fully."

"Yet he supported the Templars?"

"Can't you have both? Templars to watch over the mages as they visit their families or have a pint of ale? It could be possible if both sides compromised."

"Neither will though." It was a beautiful thought, but wasted on reality.

"Hope springs eternal." Riley whispered sardonically.

Fenris passed her the brandy again which she gratefully accepted.

"You said your father was killed by an abomination. I thought Bethany said it was a Templar."

"That's what she believes. We all saw it: the mage turn and then slice into father, but she's chosen to block it from her memory. It is something that I am eternally grateful of."

Seeing a mage turn into an abomination was never an easy thing. The skin stretching and breaking, the sounds of bones restructuring as the demon forced its way into the physical world. The whole thing was unsettling, especially for a child so young. Then to see it kill your father…Fenris understood. Riley talked about her sister's trauma, but the sight clearly had scared her as well.

"You never corrected her?"

"She was nine," Riley drank deep from the bottle, "She wasn't ready to face it and neither was I."

"How did you escape?"

Riley smirked. It was cold and deadly.

"I killed it. Mother pulled me away from the corpse after a while. I just kept on stabbing it. The bastard deserved it."

Fenris nodded. He would probably act similarly around Danarius.

Riley drank deeply from the brandy again and then, starring at the bottle seemed to decide that she was done with the expensive liquor. With all the strength she could muster she threw the bottle into the fire. She seemed to relish the flames that licked out over the tiles, greedily burning up all the alcohol.

"Sorry," She said after a moment.

"No need," Fenris responded, "The brandy was of poor quality anyway." A blatant lie, but Riley seemed thankful.

"You're right," She said smiling slightly. It was the first time the light seemed to return to her eyes, "But it would have looked so much better next to the Aggregio stain on your wall."

"Perhaps." Fenris smirked softly,

The following silence was relaxed and Fenris felt content that tonight, he had given that to her.

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><p>Alright folks, that's it for now. The next chapter I have planned is much more romantic.<p>

Til next time.

-Galexz


	4. Red

Hello all! I'm back with a new chapter. It's not the original cute, romantic one that I wanted - which is on the way, but I'm having issues with it - but there's still some lovely moments between our two heros. As always, I love your reviews, and I'm glad that people seem to like it so far. I hope this chapter fulfills your need for some sap. Please enjoy!

This takes place in Act II after the Qunari ambassadors are kidnapped and then slaughtered.

Disclaimer - Bioware owns everything.

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><p><strong>Part 4 of ? - Red<strong>

It had been 2 weeks. Fenris had barely stepped out since then, fearful of seeing Riley. Everything had been going so well. It had been all consuming before – her touch, her voice, the warmth she elicited – and had pushed him out of the darkness that he had allowed to devour him. There had been a possibility for something other than hatred, a desire for something other than revenge.

He had lost himself in her, and in those moments he had gained so much. Fenris had her in his arms, had the potential of a life, and for a second even had a past. The flashes had burned so bright that he was blinded by them; and then they were gone. Even with Riley there, he couldn't fill the void they had left.

To be tantalized by the memories only to have them ripped away…it was too much for him. He was not strong. He was always running, but here in Kirkwall with Riley, he had finally decided to take a stand. His past though, seemed to have a different idea, always dragging him back down. He wouldn't take Riley down with him, she didn't deserve that.

For all that though, Fenris couldn't help but lay awake at night and remember. There were flickers of the time before his tattoos, but they incidental. The night with Riley however, those moments were ingrained into his very soul. Her touch was etched onto his skin as permanently as his brandings. It was maddening to know how her lips tasted only to be denied them.

Perhaps he was a glutton for punishment, but no matter how much he wanted her, he would not -could not- have her.

Still, the weaker part of him whispered that he could still _be_ with her. Not romantically, but he could still stay by her side. That much was possible.

That traitorous part of him was why he had agreed to Aveline's request. It was why he allowed his feet to walk him across Hightown to her door even though his mind was screaming at him to leave.

The favor Aveline asked had been simple. Riley and her mother had been invited by the Viscount to attend dinner at his estate. Apparently Dumar had been grateful for how Riley had dealt with the kidnapped Qunari. She was making a name for herself in Kirkwall among people who had influence outside Darktown.

"Fenris," Leandra said, smiling as she walked down the stairs. The older woman looked particularly lovely tonight. Her hair was done in curls; she wore makeup and a beautiful, but conservative dress. He could tell where Riley got her features from, but her coloring clearly came from her father, along with her piercing blue eyes.

"Aveline told me that you were going to be helping us tonight. I'm grateful; the streets of Hightown haven't been the same since those 'sisters' moved in. Riley says she's taken care of it, but I feel better with an armed escort."

"It is no problem." Fenris said.

"I'm glad. Now if only Riley would hurry and come down stairs. I fear she doesn't know a thing about dresses. Perhaps you could check on her?"

"I...um… perhaps you should do it, " Fenris did not want to face Riley alone right now, especially in her room. He wasn't ready to face that level of intimacy.

"Nonsense. Now go!" She pointed towards the stairs and smiled. Did she know something about the two of them?

With slow steps Fenris walked up to Riley's room. Every step was difficult as he relived that night with her. The weight of his actions was almost physically felt as he trudged up to her room. It even stopped him outside her door, unable to knock.

He didn't have to though as her door opened and she appeared, almost knocking into him.

"Fenris!" Riley exclaimed, her eyes wide, "What are you doing here?"

Fenris couldn't answer; his mind couldn't even get his mouth to close at it hung open. The woman who stood before him could not be _his_ Riley. Her short raven hair was slicked back against her head, with only a few strands loose around her face. Gone was the dirt that usually clung to her skin leaving it pale as porcelain. She looked delicate and feminine in the deep red dress that flowed about her held only by thick belt at her waist, teasing the observer with her form, but hiding much of it.

"I...um…" Fenris cleared his throat, "Aveline asked me to escort you tonight."

"Of course," Riley murmured, looking off to the side, "Andraste's Ass."

Riley ran a hand through her hair, causing a few locks to stray into her face. She looked beautiful and uncomfortable, though Fenris was sure he was the cause of the later.

"Well, thank you for coming anyways. I'm sure that this is an inconvenience for you." She sounded bitter. It hurt to hear her speak of him like that, but he deserved it.

"Never." He found himself saying. He could have lied, it would have been easier if he had, but what would be the point? She knew him like no one ever had and she always saw right through him.

Riley glanced at him, tilting her head to the side. It was her thinking pose and he hadn't seen it directed at him in years. He could see the muscles in her jaw tighten and her swallow.

"My knight in shinning armor hmm?" She questioned. Her tone was tight and forced, but she was trying to make it sound light. It was a failure though.

Even though she was trying to change the mood, her words couldn't have rang truer. He was far from valiant, chivalrous and lordly, but protective and loyal, Fenris was definitely that. If it were for Riley, he would always be. He wanted to stay with her, if she would let him.

"Always."

It was a simple word, but it seemed to cause any walls that Riley had built up to come crashing down. She turned from him and wrapped her arms around herself. Knights served, knights protected, but knights didn't love - She knew him well enough without words.

Fenris wanted to hold her, to comfort her, but it was impossible. This was impossible. He was too broken to have her. Perhaps she should be left alone, but he couldn't will his feet to move.

After a moment she glanced at him over her shoulder and stood straighter. There were no tears and of that he was glad. He knew how deeply he had hurt her, but she shouldn't ever cry over him. She was better than that.

"Well my knight," Riley whispered as she approached him, her eyes downcast, "All knights deserve a favor from their lady fair."

Slowly she took the red scarf from around her neck and kissed it softly before taking his hand in hers. She traced his lyrium brands and for a moment Fenris was transported back to that night. It was only a second, but there was the desire to lock her in that room and keep her all for himself - that this beauty was his alone. And then it was gone, leaving only the feeling of satin against his skin. Fenris looked down, she had wrapped the red silk around his wrist.

It was a stark contrast against his pale complexion and white brandings, but he had no desire to remove it. The silk was still warm from her and was physical proof of that night. It had not been a dream and it had clearly imprinted itself on to each of them permanently.

He knew that was what she wanted, a reminder about what had happened, about what he had done, and he wanted it as well. He would never forget.

"We should leave," Fenris choked out, still staring at the scarf.

"Of course," Riley whispered brushing past him. There was no glance back as she walked down the stairs.

If Riley's mother noticed the red scarf's new location she didn't mention it at all. In fact the woman seemed acutely aware of the situation and steered the conversations clear as they departed for the Viscount's estates.

The short walk was uneventful, as Riley had predicted. She had been correct when she told her mother that Hightown was safe at night. They had dealt with the Invisible Sisters the week before last and the vacuum of power they had left in Hightown was kept the streets silent for the time being.

In the silence of the night there had been opportunities to talk, but no one had said anything. There clearly was a tension between the Riley and himself, but Leandra seemed comfortable, almost oblivious to the tension in the air. She hummed quietly to herself as they walked, content with the lack of conversation.

When they had finally reached the Viscount's estate, Leandra was the first to speak, "Well Fenris, thank you again for your services. I'm sure that one of the Viscount's men can aid us on the return trip."

The older woman smiled softly at him and nodded. He saw her eyes dart towards Riley and return to his. It was a conformation that she knew _something_, if not everything, about him and her daughter. There was no anger though, only a clear look that said 'fix it'.

Riley had gotten that from her mother as well.

Fenris took a deep breath and turned to face Riley. She was staring slightly to his left, her brow furrowed slightly.

He didn't know what to say and clearly neither did she.

There was a small sigh from behind him followed by a soft "Come Riley," from Leandra.

Riley nodded at her mother and glanced up at Fenris, "Well Ser knight, you got us here in one piece."

"Indeed."

He didn't know what possessed him to do it, but the next moment his had shot out to grab hers as she brushed past him. He felt Riley tense and stare at him openly. Slowly he brought the back of her hand to his lips. He felt her tense in anticipation, but he moved the hand away from him and placed a small kiss on the red silk tied around his wrist.

It was a bold move and very, very intimate. It was a promise and she understood it completely. With a brow furrow and lips press tightly to stop any words from passing by them, Riley tightened her hand in his and Fenris knew that for that moment, they shared the same thought - They weren't together, but each understood that they would never be apart.

She let out a shaky breath, but made no move to remove her hand, "Will you be at the Hanged Man tomorrow night? Varric has been complaining that you aren't around to play cards with him anymore."

"Of course," Fenris rumbled softly, allowing his breathe to ghost over her hand. He should have let it go, but he enjoyed the feeling.

Riley nodded and walked up the stairs towards her mother. She didn't look back, but he couldn't help but notice the small spring in her step and how she stood a bit straighter.

His choice, perhaps, would be bearable.

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><p>Tada! That's it. Good old angsty romance. If you liked it, or even if you didn't, please review. I love any and all feedback. Next chapter will be more romance, though I'm not sure if it's going to be funny or not. Hopefully the muses will be kind.<p>

Til next time.

-Galexz


	5. Whats in a Name

Alright time for less angst. I wanted this chapter to show how the two of our Heros know each other and rely on each other. After the angst of the last chapter, I wanted a bit of a feel good chapter. This chapter takes place in Act III after they've gotten back together and the shits hit the fan. It's right after you get a letter from Meredith or Orsino talking about rogue blood mages.

Disclaimer: Bioware owns everything.

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><p><strong>Part 5 of ? - Whats in a Name?<strong>

Summer was coming. The days were growing longer, both figuratively and literally. Berries were ripening on the Wounded Coast and the summer storms were rolling in. Ever year they washed away everything, flooding lands along the coast and barring people into their houses for days at a time. The storms were intense, but they were short, only lasting for a few weeks.

During the reign of the Tevinter, summer had been something important to the slaves. The rains would wash away the dirt from Lowtown, quench the fires of the foundries and the slaves would rejoice. It was the only time their master's whips didn't crack against their backs.

Riley had read that during the first storm of the year the slaves would flock to the streets and dance. It was a huge celebration that would last until the end of the rain, which usually stuck around for days. It was a time to forget about all the wrongs in the world, all the pain they had endured and celebrate _life_.

That sounded pretty good to her. She had been in Kirkwall ten years. She had seen her sister die, her mother die and the city burn. Things couldn't get much worse, but now she was the Champion and the city – balanced on the edge of a war – looked to her.

Kirkwall was almost to the breaking point. Mages and Templars were at each other's throats and Riley was stuck in the middle. Fixing the city was too hard, they asked too much of her, and she was too tired of it.

So when the world darkened and the skies opened up, Riley stepped out into the rain. While others ran for cover she embraced the warm water and discarded her armor on her doorstep. She didn't need it anyways; for once no one was coming to kill her, to beg her for help, to be saved. This was her moment and she relished it.

Her hound whimpered from the door and she smiled back at him.

"Don't be such a baby," Riley chided, "Lets go!"

The hound didn't move. Riley laughed and dashed away from the house. If he chose to follow her, then fine, if not, that was also fine. She heard the dog bark in protest before pounding feet followed her. The dog was running by her and she shouted for joy.

Riley ran through Hightown. She ran past the Chantry and down to Lowtown. There was no destination, just the feeling of freedom.

In the alleys close to the Hanged Man she took a turn too sharply and slipped, rolling through the mud and dirt. It didn't cling to her long as the rain poured across her skin. As she lay there with her face towards to the sky she would think of nothing else.

There were no Templars, no Mages and no problems. If there were than Maker's help whoever involved, they could fix it themselves. Right now she had the rain and she had an almost perfect moment.

"Hawke?" Fenris asked, his voice rumbling like thunder. Riley lifted herself onto an elbow and smiled at him. He was drenched and his hair stuck to his skin. One black eyebrow was raised and he looked confused..

"Fenris." Riley responded from the ground. Her Mabari barked happily and nudged the elf.

"What are you doing?"

"Enjoying the quiet." Thunder rumbled in the distance. It was getting closer.

"The rain is loud," He said, glancing at the sky.

"But the streets aren't, and that is lovely." Everyone was in their home or the tavern, or the gallows and they were all far, far away from her.

"You do look like you are enjoying yourself." He mumbled. Riley smirked and stretched out in the mud.

"I am. You should try it sometime."

"Hmm," Fenris hummed, "If I did, then Varric would have nothing left to joke about."

"The horror!" Riley mocked. She got up and wiped the hair back from her face, "Whatever would our short friend do?"

"Perhaps start attending the Merchant Guild meetings. I heard they are getting cross with him."

"That would be the day," Riley scoffed. She reached out to brush some of the stray hairs stuck to Fenris' forehead. It did little else than pool water into more droplets that trailed down his face

Riley sighed, her smile falling, "Why can't we stay like this?"

"Like what?"

"Just people with nothing else to do and nowhere else to be?" Riley turned from him, "The city is on the verge of complete chaos and they expect me to fix it. I'm not a politician; I'm a woman from Ferelden. I'm the daughter of an apostate. I know more of a blade than of diplomacy. Maker's Tits, half the people in this city want me dead!"

Fenris walked up to her hugged her to him tightly, "And the other half adore you beyond belief. You are their Champion."

"I hate that title," Riley murmured, leaning her head back to rest on his shoulders.

"You have accomplished many things for this town. I'm surprised they haven't made your Viscount yet."

Riley spun, her face full of mock shock, "Please don't ever say that again. Someone might take you up on it," Riley sighed, "Viscount Hawke. Sounds like one of Varric's bad stories."

Fenris chuckled and Riley allowed herself to be enveloped by him. His body was slick and, for a moment she thought of his "glistening" skin. Isabela would be jealous.

"Do you put yourself on the list of my accomplishments?" Riley asked, her fingers playing with the edges of his armor.

"I would. It took a great deal of effort to, how does Varric put it, 'bash the brooding out of me'."

"There wasn't much bashing involved."

Fenris shrugged his shoulders, "He doesn't need to know that."

"I was tempted though."

"I'm not surprised."

Riley smacked him lightly on the arm and Fenris caught her hand and brought it to his lips, kissing drops of liquid off her skin. The rain was warm, but the feelings he evoked in her were warmer.

The door to the Hanged man crashed open, startling the two of them. Riley wasn't ready for people yet, so she quickly dragged Fenris into a small alleyway. It was small and secluded. Even the few people still walking the streets in the storm wouldn't see them. It was everything she needed right now.

"Do you think I can ever be something other than the Champion ever again? Riley asked, glancing up at the sky. All the passion that had been there a moment ago, and Riley was lost in the problems of the city again.

The rain had washed her clean of the mud but the thoughts still were dirtied with politics. They drifted back to the First Enchanter's letter – blood mages in the Circle. Meridith was going to have a field day with that.

Lightning flashed overhead and Riley was startled out of her thoughts by a load crash. It was not the thunder, but the sound of Fenris' gauntlet hitting the wall by her head.

Without a word Fenris pushed her up against the alley wall and kissed her thoroughly cutting off anymore of her thoughts. There was only the feeling of his lips, the warmth of the summer storm, the sound of the thunder and the coolness of the stone on her back. There was no future, no one to save or defeat, just Fenris.

He broke off and stared at her, his green eyes piercing, "Riley," he whispered.

She stilled, "What did you say?"

"Right now you are only Riley," he whispered again, kissing the drops of rain off her face. She closed her eyes and let his voice, wash over her. He had never said her name to her before, and she liked it: the way it rolled off his tongue, the deep tenor of voice, how it seemed much more _intimate_ than anything else.

"When we are together you are nothing one else but Riley."

Suddenly there was too much between them. Armor was quickly stripped and Riley didn't care that it was a Lowtown alley. She didn't care that they could be seen, or that they could be mugged or murdered or robbed. She didn't care that she was probably standing in some poor sops blood or vomit. The rain washed away everything and all that was left was Riley and Fenris.

She smiled as she ran her hand over his slick chest. Finally everything was perfect.

Hours later the two lay stated in Fenris' Mansion. They could have returned to the Hawke Estate, but neither wanted to deal with the other occupants of the house. They hadn't seen a soul in almost a day thanks to the continual downpour occurring outside, and she was reveling in it. Reality was masked by the thunder and lightning and Riley wasn't ready to wake up from this reprise.

"Say it again." She said, looking up at him from her position between his legs. Her head was lying on his stomach and one hand was tracing the lyrium branding on his chest.

Fenris chuckled and she loved the way it reverted through his whole body.

"You are very demanding at times."

Riley squirmed and readjusted herself straddling his stomach. She tried to look serious, but it was all in vain. Fenris' hair had dried in strange ways during their lovemaking and she was sure she looked little better. Still, the calmness that consumed them made him more attractive than ever.

"But you never say it."

"If I did, then it would not be special."

"It would." She pouted, leaning down to tease his ear. She was determined to get him to say it again, "Please," She all but begged, "You made me wait so long to hear it."

Fenris growled and flipped her over, kissing her thoroughly. Once done, he whispered softly, so softly that she might have missed it if his lips still hadn't been next to her skin, "Riley."

She hummed in pleasure. She never knew that her name could bring her such fulfillment, but coming from him it did. Before he had said it, she never knew she had _wanted_ him to say it, but now, she knew that it was the only thing she ever wanted him to call her.

"Promise not to call me Hawke again."

"No." He said, his lips ghosting across her neck.

She blinked, "NO?"

"Yes."

"Why not?" She was angry now and Fenris didn't seem to care. Stupid elf.

"Because Hawke belongs to the world. She dives into the fire to save strangers and always seems to come out unscathed," Fenris let his hands slide over the scars on her stomach, "Riley though is _mine_," He nipped at her neck, "I won't share this with anyone else."

Well, when he put it like that...how could she deny him?

"Very well," she conceded, "As long as you say it again."

Fenris smirked and kissed her deeply, "Pushy."

"I always get what I want." She ground her hips against his.

"I've noticed."

Thunder rumbled in the background and the rain continued. Riley had always liked the rain before, but now she loved it. Kirkwall be damned. She was content to stay here for the rest of her life.

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><p>And that's it for today! I've got a two parter in the works that I've re-written about 5 times in hopes that I can make it work. I've also got some more angsty chapters. There are some that I've read on other people's fics, so I'm not sure if I'm going to post those. FenrisHawke can get repetitive (I know as a reader) and I love them so much I don't want to see them over done! Decisions, decisions.

Til Next Time

-Galexz


	6. Drowning

Alright, a brand new chapter. I've been playing around with some ideas about a better way to deal with the whole "Varania/Danarius" trap in Act III. Don't get me wrong, I liked it in the game, Fenris puppy eyes made me melt, but I didn't feel like it worked well with my characters. The first time I wrote it I felt like I was just rewritting the scene, and that my friends in BORING, so I wrote about five other versions of aftermath of that meeting. They ranged from Riley punching Fenris to emo kisses and awkwardness. I ended up with this one.

From playing the game I feel like Fenris has a LOT of pent up emotions - rage, desire and more rage, so I wanted to do more with that. I wanted my Hawke to be like that to - a private person who just boils over sometime. I've built up a deep respect and understanding between the two in previous chapters, but in this one I wanted it to be more than that. Think of this as a damn bursting.

Also, I mention something in this from another chapter - the duel at the end with the Arishok. I've got another chapter in the works that deals with that scene in depth. Should be fun and angsty.

Well, I hope you enjoy the latest installment.

PS: This is the closest I get to lemons - I find them awkward to write and to read. Sorry smut lovers.

Disclaimer - Bioware owns everything.

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><p><strong>Part 6 of ? - Drowning<strong>

"Magic has tainted that. I am alone."

Fenris couldn't believe that Varania had wanted that to be a magister. He had sought her out, have been willing to risked and sacrificed everything for a just a fragment of his past and this was what happened. He should have known that nothing good ever came from the Imperium, even his so-called family.

So lost in thought, Fenris didn't notice Riley's approach until her hand was upon his cheek. The space between them had grown since her duel with the Arishok. They had been on the verge of a something, but had been interrupted. He had been so close to taking her that night, overwhelmed with the potential of losing her completely, but Varric's timely entrance had prevented that and in the ensuing weeks, Fenris could barely face the woman he had left a second time.

When he looked into her brilliant blue eyes he expected pity, but there was only determination. He should have known; Riley never met his expectations. But he could have never predicted her next move.

Both of them were private people when it came to personal matters. Their shy courtship had been mostly behind closed doors and to this day none of their companions had known, though he was sure some had suspected the change in their relations. They only grazed each other with fingers in public, only glanced at each other when no one was looking - until this moment.

Riley leaned in and kissed him. She held him, soft and welcoming. As always, she knew his heart. Maker, how did he deserve this woman? How could he deny this woman?

The kiss, simple and sweet quickly changed. Fenris drowned himself in Riley – the way she felt, the way she tasted. The world was corrupted, full of mages that were weak, hateful and full of temptations. Yet she was a beacon, the only thing that Fenris knew was incorruptible.

He clung to her like a man clings to driftwood. Even as his lungs burned for air, he pressed on, pulling her closer and kissing her deeper.

Finally he could take no more and arose from the small moment of euphoria that she brought him - back to the world tainted by Danarius, back to the world where they were not together.

In the background Fenris was fairly sure that he hear a cheer. It was probably Isabela.

Riley looked up at him, her hands running over his shoulders.

"Magic can never take this." She whispered. Fenris wanted to believe her.

"Hasn't it?" He questioned bitterly. Magic had branded him, taunted him with a family and a past, only to have it ripped from him every time he tried to embrace a moment of happiness.

"I'm still here Fenris. I will always be here." And she would be. He knew it. He had put as much distance as possible between them. He had told himself that it was for the best. He couldn't handle the emotions she evoked within him, the sleeping memories that she awakened. Now with no hope that those memories could amount to anything but more pain, could he allow himself to get close to her again?

Danarius, Hadriana, Vanaria. He had lost Hawke to the ghosts of them before. He had allowed his past to consume him, but there was nothing there anymore. All of them were dead, taking any answers about his past with them. Any link he had to his life in the Tevinter Imperium had been severed.

Fenris was floating in this world, alone with no past and no future. Only Hawke grounded him in this moment, and he clung to her desperate.

Fenris kissed her again. Even with his anxious onslaught, Hawke remained placid and pliable in his arms. He let his emotions flow through her and sought comfort in her solidity.

"Get a room," he heard the mage mumbled. Varric laughed loudly.

"You can use mine if you want," Isabela suggested. Fenris could hear that smirk dripping from her words.

Fenris' body was on fire with anger, desire, despair and fulfillment. He hadn't felt so confused and overwhelmed in years. This had to be dealt with and it had to be dealt with now.

The Hawke Estate was too far away, and his home even further. And Isabela had offered hers….

Fenris didn't think as he dragged Riley with him up the stairs.

"Last room on the left!" He heard Isabela yell.

The fire had not been lit in the room and the coolness of the autumn night penetrated the chambers, but Fenris paid it no mind. He did not need to heat as his body sought the warmth of Riley's skin. He did not need to see because his mind had replayed the images from the night three years ago time and time again as he lay awake, alone in his mansion.

His fingers were busy working their way through the plethora of buckles that kept Riley's body from his and she made no move to stop him. In fact she made little move to counter him, even as he all but ripped her armor off. All she did was hold him close, running her fingers through his hair.

Maker's Breathe, he loved this woman.

Fenris kissed Riley again, his movements abating somewhat. The fire was still there, but the desperation had receded.

"Can you accept me? A broken shell of a man?" Fenris asked, his voice husky with desire.

Riley uncurled her fingers from his hair and pushed him hard. He stumbled back a few steps falling back onto the bed. Her gaze was steady as she approached him.

"You are more of a man than anyone I have met Fenris," Riley whispered as she straddled him, "I accept everything you will give me." She ran her hands over his lips, tracing the brandings down his chin and throat, "Cracks and all."

Maker take his past. All he needed was her.

Fenris gave all he could. The first time was fast and hard, all their pent up desire flooding out in a furious coupling. The second was gentle and slow. She had done so much for him tonight and he was more than willing to reward her.

Glistening with sweat and happily sated, the lovers flayed among the sheets of Isabela's large bed.

"Do you know where I should go from here Hawke?" Fenris asked, stroking her exposed lower back absently.

Riley smiled and stretched, "Probably back to your Mansion. I'm sure Isabela would like her room back at some point."

"That's not what I meant."

"I know," She sighed resting her head under his chin, "I just don't have an answer to that question."

"And here I thought the Champion was supposed to have the answers to everything."

"Only in Varric's stories," She yawned.

Fenris was tired as well, exhausted by long day, but his mind could not help but return to the same place it always did – his past. What was he to do without an enemy? He had always been defined by Danarius, first as his slave then as his nemesis, what defined him now?

And what of Hawke? She had kept his head about him through all of this, and yet he had done nothing over the years to deserve this. Would she leave him in the morning as he did years ago?

"You're still thinking," She mumbled against his neck.

"I…We never talked of what happened three years ago." He sighed.

He felt Riley shift against him, "You want to talk about that? Now?"

Riley had told him time and time again to let go of his past and to move on, and he wanted to move into the future, but this last piece had to be resolved.

"I shouldn't have left you. I wish I had told you-" Riley's finger on his lips stopped him.

"Don't," She whispered, lifting herself away from him, to stare at his face. He would never tire of those endless blue eyes, "You wish to speak of the past, well, here it is," Riley rose over him, straddling his stomach, "You ran. I let you," She took his hands and placed them on her hips, "You were a coward and I was a fool." Slowly she leaned closer to him, pressing her soft chest against his, "Our pasts are filled with nothing but pain, but we can replace them with new memories." Her lips ghosted over his, "I want to know how you feel right now."

Fenris couldn't breathe, he couldn't even think. The words came tumbling out of his mouth before he could stop them, "I cannot bear even the thought of living without you."

He felt Riley smile, her hands tangling themselves in his hair, "Then there is nothing more to say."

Any thoughts Fenris had about returning to his mansion in the near future left as she kissed him. Any inkling he had about leaving this room before morning disappeared as he flipped her over and pinned her to the soft mattress. And any notion of ever leaving this bed vanished as she writhed in pleasure under him.

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><p>Well that's if for now. The next chapter is almost done. I've just got to tweak it a bit more. Until now I've stayed mostly in canon, pretty much because I haven't written scenes you've seen in the game, so I hope you enjoyed my reworking of this. I just wasn't content to let poor Fenris walk away like that. Riley wouldn't be either.<p>

Look for to the next installment - a fight to the death between Riley and the Arishok followed by awkwardness between our two heros!

Til next time,

-Galexz


	7. Honor

Alright, four drafts later here it is: A fight between Hawke and the Arishok. Along with the ensuing skirmish between Riley and Fenris. I actually made this pretty angsty the first time around, but that was over a month ago and their characters have evolved since then so I had to scrap that one. I'm pretty happy with this, but I feel like I need to work on action scenes. That's going to be the goal of the new story I've started. Yes, I've started another one, but that's because this one I feel is coming to an end. I'm thinking there are going to be two more installations to this one - a cute Fenris chapter about his early attraction to Riley and a closing chapter told by our friend Varric, but I could be persuaded to write more if people want to see anything in particular.

For anyone that's interested the new story will be called "Scarlet" and I've seen a couple of authors play with a similar idea, but I think the whole thing should be pretty original and different. I've already finished the prologue, but I'm going to edit it a bit first. I've had horrible success in chapter fics in the past, so I've already set up an outline with key points for this new one. I'm determined to finish a chapter story.

Anyways, on with _this_ story. Hope you enjoy the chapter!

Disclaimer - Bioware owns all.

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><p><strong>Part 7 of ? - Honor<strong>

Riley stared at the Arishok from across the room. This was stupid, it was crazy, it was beyond insane, but she was not going to back down. She had lost everything in the last few years – her brother, her sister and her mother – she was not going to lose a friend.

He had proposed a duel and she had accepted it on impulse – something that got her into trouble often. Even if there belief systems were completely different, his offer of a one-to-one duel was a honor and she realized it as such. A fight to the death between two equals, except a glance between them showed that they were far from equal.

The Arishok slowly stripped off his armor. A fight between a Qunari and a _Basalit-an_ – foreigners respected by the Qunari – would follow the rules of a traditional Qunari duel. It would be a fight of pure skill with nothing separating them or protecting them. Blood was the only outcome.

In her gut Riley had known that it was going to come to this eventually. From the first moment she had met the man, she had a feeling that they were going to meet on the battlefield.

Riley didn't take her eyes off her enemy as she began to strip herself of her own armor. She didn't want to appear weak and she hoped he didn't notice her hands shaking as she undid her buckles.

"Just tell me you're worth it." Riley whispered over her shoulder at the rogue standing behind her.

"Excuse me?" Isabela said, blinking.

Riley turned her head to look at the woman, "I'm about to fight a man that could crush my skull with one hand. Tell me that you're worth this."

"Well," Isabela said, trying to be playful, but failing miserably, "I did steal their stupid book."

"I know." Riley deadpanned.

"And I left you to fight them all by yourself."

"I noticed."

"But," Isabela said, leaning against the wall, "I did come back."

"That you did." Riley smirked. This mess could have been a lot worse. If only the Qunari had just left with their blighted relic.

"You really have a bad influence on me you know." Isabela sighed softly.

"I try." Riley turned to face Isabela, placing her hands on the woman's shoulders, "Just don't do something like this again."

"Yes mother," Isabela sighed. Rolling her eyes slightly.

Riley was finally stripped down to her breast bindings and leather pants. She couldn't remember the last time she had entered a fight so naked. The prospect didn't bode well with her.

"Are you sure about this Hawke," Varric said handing her twin daggers to her. The blades shown in the dimly light hall and their weight in her hands felt final, like she couldn't back out of this even if she wanted to.

"It's the simplest solution, and the least amount bloodshed."

"Only if you win. What happens if you don't?" The dwarf asked. Riley swallowed. She didn't want to think of that prospect.

"Meridith and the others should be here by then. So stand and fight or leave it to them. I won't have much say in the matter."

"Such poetic words from our heroine." Varric sighed, "Just don't die then. Blood stains are so hard to get out of my jacket."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence." Riley glanced at Fenris, but the elf only nodded, but she could see his jaw clench. He was nervous, but still he didn't move or speak. Didn't that stupid elf have anything to say? No parting words incase she died?_ Of course he doesn't_, she thought bitterly to herself,_ He never has anything to say._

Riley twirled the dagger in her right hand as she approached the Qunari leader. To everyone she was the air of confidence, that is, as long as they didn't notice her knees shaking.

The first blow came upon her without warning. The look at the Arishok's face, at least in Riley's eyes, seemed cocky and smug. Blighted bastard.

The two began to dance, Riley dodging more than he did, mostly because she was more agile and lighter on her feet, but also because she had seen what he could do with that giant broad sword, and she liked being in one piece.

As the minutes wore on, Riley knew she was tiring. Her fatigue was visible, but she was still dodging the Arishok's strikes, dealing her own and surviving his onslaught - barely. Each swing of his massive sword was getting closer and closer to her delicate skin.

The Qunari leader easily had 100 lbs on Riley, but she had greater speed, and any hit he landed on her was costly. The large leader had already landed a few kicks, launching the small rogue across the room, and in the wake of the attacks she could only absorb his follow-up attacks. Things were getting bad – quickly.

This could not go on.

It was a desperate move, but Riley threw herself on to the ground to dodge a huge swing of the sword. However the compromising position left her open to a violent kick that sent her sliding towards the stairs. The Arishok stood over her.

"You have fought well Hawke, however the Qun dictates that you must die, _Asit tal-eb_._ Ataash varin kata_." The Arishok's voice rang out over the crowd. Riley could see the Qunari to her right stand a little straighter. They were proud of their leader, of the resilience of their people and philosophy.

Riley coughed, the blood visible on her lips, "The Qun dictates that you try, but I'm not ready to die yet." She was defiant until the end.

The next moments happened in slow motion. The large blade barely missed her, clanging loudly on the stairs. Riley had pushed off the steps, launching herself between legs of the looming male as the blade had swung down. She slid out behind him and threw two small knives she had hidden in her boots into his back – not exactly allowed in their little honor duel, but she could care less for the rules right now.

The Qunari grunted and turned charging at her once again. She rolled out of the way and ran towards the pillars with him in pursuit. Jumping, she pushed off the column and launched herself back towards the Qunari as his sword rose. His blade struck her leg and hers buried themselves in him: One in his neck, the other in his eye. They fell in a heap on the floor. The room was silent. Riley Hawke had beaten the Arishok, but at what price?

Isabela rushed forwards, soon followed by the others. She helped Riley up, who gave them a shaky smile.

"You crazy bitch," Isabela laughed, "You really had us worried for a moment there."

Riley tried to force out a laugh, but quickly held her side in pain. There were at least a couple of broken ribs. She stood as tall as possible while favoring her less injured leg and stepped out past her friends. She retrieved her dagger from the Arishok's neck and held the dripping blade towards the other Qunari.

"Anyone else want to try to take her?"

The Qunari stood silently.

"Good," Riley smirked, her face growing paler by the moment, "Now take your book and leave my city."

The room erupted in applause from the noblemen of Kirkwall, even as Riley collapse at their feet. They only cared of their own safety and freedom. Her friends rushed over and Fenris hulled her upright, his arms being the only thing keeping her from falling.

The nobles swarmed her, trying to shake the rogue's hand, but she waved them off. Out of the corner of her eye she spied Meredith entering with the mages. The Knight Commander was fuming, but Riley didn't care. She was exhausted and had no energy to deal with egos or politics. Fenris seemed to understand her exhaustion and ushered her towards the door.

Outside the group walked past over the destruction wrought by the Qunari. Riley moved slowly and they matched her pace. There was no rush anyways as there really wasn't anywhere to go. Besides, this was the closest she had been to Fenris in months and she wasn't going to let it pass by.

"I can't believe you did that." Varric laughed as he stepped over a Qunari corpse.

"Me either." Isabela said, "I wouldn't have done that for me."

"Most of us would have let them take you." Fenris snarled. Isabela glared, kicking an abandoned helmet.

"Well Rivaini, I'm still angry with you, but since we all got our of this with our heads still attached to our shoulders, I guess I can find it in myself to forgive you." Varric smirked. Isabela smiled back. She had never really had friends before, but she didn't know how she had gotten so far without them before.

"I second that," Riley croaked, smiling crookedly, "Remind me to punch you later when I get my arms working again. Then we'll be even."

Riley felt Fenris' growl in his chest, but he said nothing. His arms tightened about her and she knew he would probably never forgive the pirate for this. Lying was something that he did not forgive easily.

"I don't know about the rest of you, but I feel this disserves a pint – or twelve," Varric hummed, "Everyone's going to want to hear the tale about Hawke, the Champion of Kirkwall."

"While I love your stories Varric, I would much rather have my bed now and some elfroot poultices." Riley winced as she tripped slightly over the rubble on the streets.

"Rivaini?" He asked looking over at the other woman.

"Do I ever say no to drinks?" Isabela asked laughing loudly. Varric shrugged and the two turned to leave for the Hanged Man.

Isabela paused and looked back at Riley and Fenris, "Thanks again Hawke."

Riley nodded. Isabela was a good woman. She just needed a good hard shove in the right direction from time to time.

The second those two were out of sight, Riley wanted to collapse. She was beyond exhausted, everything in her body hurt, and the fairly deep wound she had in her thigh had to be treated properly. All in all she was in bad shape. A bed sounded very good to her right now.

She tried to get her feet to work, but they had seemed to stop functioning the somewhere between Chantry and the Main Square. Thankfully Fenris had not left with them, if he had, she probably wouldn't have gotten farther than a few steps.

The silence that hovered in the night was oppressive. They hadn't been alone together in over a year. She didn't know what to say, and clearly he didn't either.

They stumbled along together before Fenris finally sighed, and swept Riley into his arms. To say she was shocked was an understatement, but with him carrying her they did make excellent time back to her estate.

When they arrived at the door, Riley thought he would just dump her and leave but he kicked the door with his foot and waited for Bohdan to answer.

"Mistress Hawke!" He said as the small dwarf peeked out past a crack in the door, "What happened to you."

"Later," Fenris snapped and pushed past the dwarf to carry her upstairs.

It was clear to Riley that the anger was building in the elf, and she tried to pretend that she didn't care, but she could feel herself getting more and more agitated with him as the seconds wore on.

Fenris deposited her on the bed and set out to assemble the healing potions. The only words spoken between the two were Riley's directions on bandage and herb locations.

With a final trip to the basin, Fenris had collected all he needed and he roughly slammed them down on the nightstand. He set out to cleaning her wounds, and he was gentle enough, but his grip was tight and sometimes the bandages were too tight.

"What?" She finally asked. She could take no more of the looks, the firm hands and the angry set to his jaw.

"You could have died because of her." Fenris growled tying off the bandage.

"But I didn't"

"It was not your fight."

"He wanted to take one of my friends, what would have had me do?"

"She asked to fight, demanded to. You should have let her."

"Isabela had no chance of winning. To let her fight him would have been suicide."

"It almost was for you as well."

"Yet I am still standing."

"Barely!" Fenris bit out, his hands hit the mattress on either side of her hard and his face inches from hers, "Were you prepared to die, for _her?_"

"Why not? I have lost so much in my life because of my failures: My father, my siblings and my mother. All I have left are my _friends,_" She spat the last word, "And I will defend them with my life if I have to!"

Her words had the desired effect. Fenris withdrew, standing up, but he didn't move to the fire as she expected him. He stood there watching her, and it made her uncomfortable. Riley turned her head and stared at the wall.

How had things come to this?

It seemed their relationship was akin to Kirkwall and the Qunari in the last few months. Tensions had been rising with everyday. Fenris would dodge her, ignore her and apparently detest the sight of her as he would not even look at her on the best of days, and Riley had grown tired of it. Her words had grown sharp to anyone who knew what to listen to, and as it happened, the only one who knew was the one they were directed at.

They had grown continuously apart in the last few months and it was driving her insane. Two years ago - Maker's Breath, had it been that long already? – he had given her hope that they could work through it, that perhaps with time they could be together. But time had dulled that hope and embittered her. Before she had needed him, almost as if he were the very air that they breathed, but a year ago she had decided to move on.

At first Riley had believed that she could lure him back to her. She would flaunt herself in front of him, flirt with men at the Hanged Man and joke with Isabela about indecent things. Fenris didn't even bat an eyelash, so in her anger she started to bed the men. Desperate times, called for desperate measures, and she didn't care who it was as long as she could forget him for a time.

It had only made things worse though. Fenris, who had been there for her before as a friend and a comfort, pulled back even further from her, and Riley found herself longing for him even more. Things turned ugly then and they barely spoke anymore. It was becoming obvious to the group, but neither of them would speak of the reasons behind their arguments.

Her body shook and she would not look at him even as she felt his eyes turn to her. Let him think it was due to anger instead of fear and loneliness. She had the courage to fight an entire army of Qunari, but not to bring up that night two years ago. Why couldn't that damned bastard just hold her right now? Her life had flashed before her eyes in another battle and now she was fighting again when all she wanted was to lose herself in an embrace to reassure herself that Riley Hawke was still in existence.

Riley laid back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. The space could only grow from here. More bitter words and fights and he would leave.

Maker's breath, this is not what she wanted right now. She didn't need this yelling. Yes, she was lucky to be alive, but if there was truly any luck left in her bones she would have been in Fenris' Mansion lounging on his floor, curled up in one of his battered shirts and downing some good brandy. This blighted chasm between them would be gone, not growing by the day.

She waited to hear the door slam behind the elf, but she was surprised to feel his hands on the hem of her pants. Riley propped herself up on her elbows and stared at the elf. Fenris didn't look at her, but knelt before her working on the buttons of her pants. If her thigh didn't throb the way it did, she might have been confused at his actions.

The anger that had so consumed Fenris seemed to have lessened. His firm grip had lessened, his jerky movements had smoothed and the small twitch he got in his jaw had stopped. He was gentle as he removed her pants, but she stilled hissed as the leather scratched over the open wound.

With the pants off, Riley laid back, not wanting Fenris to see how the situation was affecting her. She covered her eyes with her arm, trying to hide the blush that formed as he went to work cleaning the wound with a towel. Her being in only her smalls, and him being so _attentive_ did wicked things to her.

He applied the elfroot poultice to the clean wound and she pursed her lips to suppress the small moan that his fingers elicited. Fighting a man three times her size was easier than being this close to a man she couldn't have.

Facing he Arishok had put less strain on her than this. She couldn't take the silence anymore. Peaking out from between her fingers she saw that he didn't look anywhere besides her leg. He was keeping things professional, and she didn't know whether to be angry or happy.

"If he wanted me, what would you have done?" Riley whispered looking over his head. She had to know what was going on in his head – this limbo was driving her crazy. She felt Fenris' hands stop bandaging her leg and she bit her lip softly as his hands ran over her red skin.

Fenris glanced up at her, "What do you want me to say?"

"Anything," She sighed, "Everything. Would you have let him take me?" His hands were cool on her burning skin and even in her weakened state they were all she could think about.

"Never." Fenris growled, glaring up at her. If she had asked him that two years ago, or even a few months ago, she would have never asked that question, but now…

"So you understand why I did it then."

"No."

"But you said – "

Fenris cut her off, "I would have done it for you, not for her."

Riley was silent as she looked up at him. He tied that bandage on her thigh tightly and went to pull away from her. He hadn't looked at her since the comment, but she had to see. It had been months since she had allowed her self a sliver of hope. It had been weeks since she half expected every morning to wake up to find a small red scarf next to her bedside. Where once there had been so much understanding, now there was only confusion.

Riley did not know where she stood with him, and she wanted answers. This needed to be resolved tonight. If she could take on a Qunari warrior than she could handle a broody elf.

As Fenris went to stand, she grabbed his hand, "Am I more than a friend?" She pressed.

He would not answer her as he turned away, but he did not remove her hand and he made no other intentions to move.

She pulled on his hand as she tried to stand – she would not back down until he talked- but the weakness in her leg caused her to stumble. She felt herself falling, but Fenris was there to catch her and he held her loosely to his chest, but his arms were steel allowing her no movement beyond the small space he allowed there.

"Fenris," She whispered, grasping his biceps tightly, allowing her fingers to flex over the taunt muscle there. Riley was unsure of where to go from here…

"If you had die, I would have killed him and everyone involved in leading up to that moment – even Isabela." His voice was rough with emotion.

Riley wasn't prepared for that, "There were moments when I thought I was a goner. Why didn't you step in then?"

"I tried, but you kept getting back up." She glanced up to see his small smirk. She was glad he was holding her up, because it made her knees weak.

"Sorry for spoiling your heroic efforts," She smiled, "I'm not very good at playing the damsel in distress."

"Yet I still got to sweep you off your feet like the knights of old."

"Still playing my knight?" She hummed.

"Whenever you let me."

"I'll let you the rest of the night." She said letting her hand wander up to his neck.

"Hawke," He murmured stopping her hand. She could see the conflict in his eyes, but she pressed on.

Riley cringed and planted her feet to solidify her position as she reached up, determined to get him to break. She needed him, and he needed her. End of story.

His eyes gently closed as she reached up, and Riley was ready to finally feel something good today when her door burst open. Shocked, Riley fell back onto her bed as Fenris let his arms falls away.

There in all his drunken glory stood Varric, swaying slightly, "Hawke," He said, "Isabela had the greatest idea! Didn't you!" He called. Isabela poked her head in the door and nodded.

Riley sat there wide eyed as Varric trailed off about some random quest that they should do, but she wasn't paying attention. Her eyes were on Fenris as he slinked out of the room.

Damn dwarf.

* * *

><p>I can't really imagine Varric drunk, and I'm sure that the last bit was really out of character, but so it made me laugh, so I didn't change it.<p>

Also if anyone is interested in what the Arishok said "_Asit tal-eb" _means "it is to be" and _ "Ataash varin kata" _means "In the end lies glory."

That's if for now. As always, please review!

Til next time,

-Galexz


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